October 16th, 2005

origin of love

(no subject)

i'm doing a lot of gender deconstruction lately. i blame judith butler. ;-)

i've been thinking about my own gender, which i tend to experience as really fluid and nonlinear. i have definite "spots" where it tends to concentrate, but i definitely don't stay in the same "spot" for long periods of time. right now i'm in a new relationship with a heterosexual-identified, non-trans man. and i've been noticing that the sorts of people i tend to be attracted to are people with either really stable identities or people who aren't particularly attached to the location of their identity. and i'm wondering how much of my own dysphoria is not just because i'm in a body that feels incongruous with any of my "spots", but because i have a fluid identity where a stable one wants to be.

posting about my gender outside of my own journal is kinda new for me. i've been a member of a bunch of trans/queer communities for a long time, but haven't really posted on any of them much. i might post this in other places, or something similar, but i think i'll start by posting it here. this community feels pretty safe to me. :)