March 15th, 2005

(no subject)

I posted a comment to an earlier post that folks asked me to bring up for discussion...

In many ways, the issue of invisibility extends beyond that which is not easily identifiable as dyke to straight folks. We perpetuate our own stereotypes within our community. How many times have you gone to a lesbian club and sworn that everyone goes to the same hairdresser? A lot of how the lesbian community has built social solidarity is through homogenization.

For me, this is utterly painful. I don't identify as either a femme or a butch. I like my feminine curves but i look more like a fraggle rock raver with crazy dreads and colorful fuzzy clothes. I like bangles and makeup but my makeup is more gothy than femme. This performance of my gender renders me 100% invisible in both lesbian spaces and spaces in general. I refuse to play by any of the rules of performance that are prescribed by the lesbian community. As such, i am not particularly welcome there. And that's painful. I live in San Francisco, a city where things should be open and welcoming, but it's anything but that. I find that my queer identity is more affirmed by the straight world than the lesbian world. This is brutally painful because it minimizes my dating potential immensely.

How do we as a queer community recognize our own perpetualization of marginalization through homogenization and marking people invisible?
hot chick


Hi All,
I'm contemplating a move to the Northeast, and I need to know about great towns/cities to live in. I'm looking for someplace liberal, gay-friendly, artsy, lots of theater (that's my profession), near mountains, maybe a college town?
I am looking at Mass, Southern Vermont, Upstate New York.

Any Suggestions?

(X-Posted, I'm really looking for answers here)