January 2nd, 2005

Orange: Amp

Fluid Sexualities (xposted in my journal)

I'm been sort of confused lately over sexual labels. I find my confusion to be so frustrating because I end up sounding like one of those anti-intellectual confused teenagers who says, "I hate labels!" Plus, I have always argued that it's better to have more words, not less words. However, here is where my confusion stems from... I really don't like the array of popular sexual labels right now, and I often do not relate to the majority of the people in any of the categories. I'm not straight, one of the only consistencies in my sexuality, so like alot of non-straights, I called myself "queer" for a long time. I still stand by this word as a politically useful one, but it still doesn't specify who I like to fuck.

I also don't really like the sexual labels that currently exist because many of them are politically problematic, like "bisexual" assumes there are only masculine men and feminine women (and many bisexuals only like those types and think some very disparaging things about people who are not in those categories); "homosexual" has this completely horrible medical/homophobic/DSM-IV historical attachment to it. And the social renderings of these terms are shifting, shifting, shifting.

To be honest, and this is something I was really afraid to even verbalize in the "homosexuals are born that way" 90's, but I actually do feel like my sexuality morphs and shifts over time, as does the way I read my sexual experiences after the fact. What was "good sex" to me when I was younger, doesn't really appeal to me right now. Also, after reading "Deviant Bodies" by Jennifer Terry and Jacqueline Urla, I realized that the whole "gay gene" theory is really regressive and totally reinscribes eugenics. It wasn't until I was reading an interview with Lydia Lunch, where she says that nobody should lust the same way they did five years ago, I realized that other people change too. It was just a 'click' moment for me.

Feedback appreciated.