January 14th, 2004


please take this survey! apologies for cross-posts.

Is Chivalry Dead?

Take this handy survey and find out! Be sure to elaborate your answers as fully as possible; feel free to illustrate using anecdotes, diagrams, art reproductions, song lyrics or mp3s, etc. Please note that most of the questions presume that you love a lady. If you are temporarily between love affairs, please note any purely fictitious answers on your survey. These questions regarding the love of ladies are based on the twelfth-century Rules of Courtly Love.

1. "Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in." Do you ever try to persuade someone that their lady is unworthy? Do you ever cast aspersions upon particular love affairs in public? Do you ever mock a lady within earshot of her lover?

2. "Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs." Do you ever bandy any lady's name about in public? Do you ever draw attention to a lady's hickeys, or publicly speculate upon her sexual history?

3. "The true lover is never complacent." Do you outwardly and constantly appreciate your lady's beauty, grace, and wisdom? Do you bestow frequent compliments upon her, so that she knows of your esteem?

4. "A true lover considers nothing good that will displease the beloved." Do you ever engage in pursuits that cause your lady to roll her eyes, hold her nose, cover her ears, or frown?

5. "A lover who is vexed by too much passion does not truly love." Are you ever suspicious of your lady's virtue? Do you ever become angry when your lady attends to the needs of her friends or family members? When you long for your lady, do you tell her so using your words?

6. "Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous." Are you ever disrespectful or mocking to your lady in public? Are you ever nonconsensually disrespectful or cruel to her, in private? Do you ever try to persuade her to alter her appearance? Do you interrupt her stories or finish her sentences? Are you kind to her pets and/or children?

7. "Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood." Do you ever deliberately mislead your lady? Conceal your feelings from her? Exaggerate or minimize historical and/or current facts to her?

8. "Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest." Do you comport yourself with the same dignity, good sense, and courtesy when you are apart from your lady as when you are in her presence?

9. "In giving and receiving love's solaces let modesty be ever present." When making love to your lady, do you take care to ensure that grace, beauty, and joyfulness are present, as well as that which is hot?

10. "In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover." Do you ever disregard signs of weariness, restlessness, or distaste from your lady when making love? Do you know and respect your lady's safeword?

11. "Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry." Do you regard your lady as someone whom you would be proud to present as the keeper of the keys in your own household? Would you be proud to present her to your most valued family members, advisors, and peers?

12. "No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons." Do you ever hesitate to say "I love you" to your lady? Do you ever withold any gesture of affection from her, aside from in emergency situations?

13. "That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish." Do you ever manipulate your lady into participating in events that she has declared make her bored, irritated, or uncomfortable?